You are a scholar right now.

Ever walk into a room and walk out as someone totally different? I did. It was July 21, 2016. I entered the room as a student and left as a scholar.

I always felt smart, but there is the saying, “The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” This rings true, but in most of my years as a graduate assistant, I felt like a very educated copy machine. I repeatedly came up with ideas and asked to help write, research, and create projects.* I was told no. I let it eat at my confidence. I allowed the denial to cast doubt on my intelligence. “But how did I earn a full scholarship with paid assistantship at a prestigious, private institution?” I had to be smart.

Had I not had a professional career prior to my graduate assistantship, or that final awesome year of my assistantship**, my resume would basically look like:

  • Developed strong interpersonal relationship with Xerox 7000 series
  • Punched holes on the left and gained spiral-binding experience
  • Expertly handled staples, whether upper-left or upper-right

I lived my life jealous of other education graduate assistants at other higher education institutions. I would go to conferences and hear about the coolest research they were doing with their faculty mentors and how they were creating projects with departmental support to launch them into their careers after graduation. Believe me, I was crushing hard on Harvard. Oh, the plethora of social-justice-education collaborations available to sate my nerdy palette!

But I love my school.

And this is why I care so much about this problem. I am sure we’re not alone either. So, all of higher education, pay attention:

The way in which students are treated in the academic food chain is wasteful. The perspective academia has about the instantaneous moment at which someone changes from student to scholar wastes years of potential low-cost labor. Students would gladly put in effort for a little bit of experience. This experience could contribute to the available knowledge-base or otherwise positively impact education.

Faculty members have a huge case load of advising on top of their course load.*** They do not have the time to train graduate assistants to do tasks. Graduate assistants need to be strong critical thinkers and capable of self-directed fact finding.

Departments should charge experienced graduate assistants with interviewing graduate assistant applicants. Let students gain that human resources experience, and let them find the qualified candidates.

Regardless of the graduate assistants received, they are for the institutions to shape into their future scholars. Empower them on day one.

Faculty: at the first faculty meeting of the year, chat about some upcoming projects or wishlist research tasks. Develop a list of ideas before the graduate assistants arrive panting excitedly at the door.

Deans: make sure your departmental dollars are working for the department! Get those students out there in the world and show them off! Awesome, hardworking students bring good press, which brings more students. Recruitment TEAMWORK!

Everyone: Rethink intelligence. Empower students. Anyone can learn. This is how society will move forward.

*I was told no for three of the four years. Thank goodness for my last year experience. I had the best faculty mentor and look forward to our future collaborations.

**Yes, this did give me time to work on my literature review and dissertation while I was not doing work. However, much of my time not working I spent helping other students edit their papers or problem solve.

***To lighten their case load, my suggestion was the creation of a position to help students with their dissertation proposals and once they are ready for the focused advising, hand them off. This would give students accurate and level-appropriate feedback without taxing faculty members with the charge of cleaning up formatting, grammar, variables, or even the methodology.

Cookies, Candy, and Qualitative Research

Thursday, July 21 at 1 pm CT have my public defense of my dissertation: An exploration of the lived experiences of college students with disabilities (my dissertation abstract).

All are welcome to attend, or email me if you’d like the link to the live cast. If you come in person, you’ll be able to enjoy homemade cookies. Otherwise, you’ll have to BYOC.

My friends are scared

This is wrong. My friends are scared. They fear for their safety. They worry about raising kids in this world. Their kids are terrified they won’t come home each night.

Who do they call if they need help? They have no one. Worse than that, they are the hunted.

In this crazy, upside-down world, victims are turned into the villains. Children are growing up without dads, moms, aunts, brothers, sisters, uncles, cousins. Because of hate. Hundreds of years of falsely reaffirmed hate.

I have not stopped crying about the deaths of black people this week. It can’t be real. Why hasn’t this stopped already? Why can’t I wake up? But this isn’t about me. And it’s real.

It’s about my friends who are scared. Those who I do not know who are scared. My beautiful friends. The beautiful people I do not know. Who loves them? Who protects them?

Do something. Racism exists. It isn’t over. Read the comments on articles and you’ll see it. Look around and you’ll see it. Listen to your black friends and you’ll hear the scars left by racism.

We all need to make a change. Be the change and be the good.

Free Knowledge, Inquire Within

You use Wikipedia. But did you know it’s not just good for giving you fingertip access to factoids? The movement is much more than that. There are some pretty big goals.

Sometimes we take access to to quality, bias-free information for granted. Not everyone in the world has that luxury. But you can help make a change.

Get involved
Anyone can. You don’t have to be an expert or a jack-of-all-trades. You can start by cleaning up grammar on existing articles. Or take on bigger tasks.

Donate
If you haven’t watched the video above, do. It sounds so silly, but I get so excited when I think about how much information is given and received each day. What a gift! Donate today to give the gift of knowledge to everyone.

To find out more about all things wiki, come join me and others at the St. Louis Wiknic on July 10.

5 Essential Questions in Life

Today I watched Dean Ryan’s speech at Harvard Graduate School of Education’s commencement. He’s right. These five questions are essential.

Wait, what?
It is an effective way to ask for clarification. Pause and think about what you are doing. Are you doing it for the right reasons? “Importance of inquiry over advocacy.” So many of us are so excited to make an impact, we forget to stop and think about what the community/students/<insert stakeholders here> need and wants. Slow down and ask with an open mind.

I wonder…?
As we move from childhood into adulthood, we tend to lose our curiosity. We think we must have a definitive answer for everything the instant we are broached with a question. This question encourages curiosity and wonderment. Take a moment and admire the world you hope to change and wonder.

Couldn’t we at least…?
This is something we use to move forward, either when we are at an impasse or if we are not sure where to go. This question can be helpful in negotiations where there isn’t alignment. It is also helpful to get a heading when you don’t know your destination. A good start to fixing a problem, or a great start to an investigation.

How can I help?
A very curious thing that was told to me once by Sister Jay: “Service is not selfless.” What she meant was our actions are not all selfless. We get something out of doing service, perhaps good feelings or recognition of good deeds, and we need to recognize that. We need to be sure our desire to help does not get in the way of helping. Be sure the help is in the manner in which the community/students/<stakeholders> need or want. “Be aware of the Savior complex. Don’t let the real pitfalls extinguish one of the most humane acts. How we help matters as much as we do help.”

What truly matters?
At the end of the day, what matters to you? To society? For students? Dive deep and ask questions to find out what is at the heart of everything: beliefs, curriculum, habits, learning outcomes, practices, etc.

Finally, there is a bonus question:
And did you get what you wanted out of life, even so…?
When choosing to live every day, ask these questions often. You will find yourself both “cherished and respected.” Lead a life of passion, and you will inevitably answer this question with, “I did.”

Brock Turner texted pics of his unconscious victim’s breasts to his friends

According to Brock’s dad, he shouldn’t be judged for his “20 minutes of action.” Brock argued throughout the whole trial the sexual assault and rape was “consensual.” So, Snapchatting your pals pics of your victim’s boobies was totally cool with her too?

When is this acceptance of sexual assault and violence against women going to end!?

Oh, and he shouldn’t be on the registry, Papa Turner? Yes. Yes he should. Because this is not what normal, loving consensual sexual activity looks like: undressing an unconscious woman in order to expose her breasts and genitals, snapchatting friends her naked body parts, then raping said unconscious woman behind a dumpster with fingers and other foreign objects found lying on the ground.

Don’t be silent. Speak up against sexual assault and violence.

An exploration of the lived experiences of college students with disabilities

Below is my dissertation abstract in its current form. Enjoy and please do let me know if you’d like a copy of the final draft!

This dissertation presents a phenomenological study of the experiences of students with disabilities during higher education. This study began due to the lack of literature available regarding the experiences of students with disabilities regarding their pursuit of higher education. The research focus grew from the enrollment rate inconsistencies between students with and without disabilities in higher education. The rate of enrollment of students with disabilities in higher education is significantly lower than the enrollment of students without disabilities. The reasons behind this are complex. It is affected by individual student’s choice to not disclose his or her disability, the transition preparation of the students with disabilities, and the experiences of students with disabilities at higher education institutions. Much of the literature focuses on data about students with disabilities, but little engages students with disabilities in the research.

A qualitative research design provided rich data. Data collected from individual semi-structured interviews was analyzed for themes and sub-themes. The interviews were correlated with observations and observer notes. Nine students with disabilities attending a Midwestern private higher education institution provided nearly nine hours of dialogue, observations, and notes to analyze. From this data, the following themes were extracted and listed here in order of strength, from least to greatest: identity (self-advocacy, self-worth), accommodations (academic life, support from others), social interaction, assumptions and stigma, and barriers. Specific observations or quotes were used to illustrate the existence of themes and sub-themes.

The illustrations developed from the data the student participants provided aided in designing the concluding arguments. The conclusion of the study invites administrators at the Midwestern higher education institution to examine the data analysis. Some of the student participants provided suggestions for improvement in the accommodation and support of students with disabilities. Additional suggestions for improvement were developed from the data. While the information provided from the student participants aided in appreciating the experiences of students with disabilities, more research is needed regarding the experiences of students with disabilities in higher education.

I love this: To Brock’s Father from Another Father

I love this letter to Brock Turner’s father from another father. He addresses how a father feels, but also the responsibility of a father.

This is by far my favorite paragraph:

If his life has been “deeply altered” it is because he has horribly altered another human being; because he made a reprehensible choice to take advantage of someone for his own pleasure. This young woman will be dealing with this for far longer than the embarrassingly short six months your son is being penalized. She will endure the unthinkable trauma of his “20 minutes of action” for the duration of her lifetime, and the fact that you seem unaware of this fact is exactly why we have a problem.

Read this letter, and read the victim’s. They are very poignant pieces.

See more of my pieces I have written on sexual assault.

A lighter topic

Chris said my posts were pretty heavy lately and I needed to post something happy. He’s right. The posts all have been pretty heavy lately. He suggested posting some kittens.

Here is my main man, Murray, helping me work. He’s available for adoption through St. Louis Pet Rescue. This guy is my shadow, always by my side, or in my lap, or the back of my neck, or on my feet, etc.

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Here Murray is sleeping on the bed with his brother, Bobby, on laundry day.

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Here is Bobby. He is also available for adoption though St. Louis Pet Rescue. Bobby is my morning buddy. He greets me in the morning when I get up to head to the gym. He loves being held and getting kisses just like my resident cat, Kitt Kitt.image

For your cute kitty video viewing pleasure, here are some videos of kitties from St. Louis Pet Rescue.

Cleopatra

Mufasa and Powder

Laverne and Toby

Laverne

Enjoy.