First, I want you to make a list. Which careers do you associate with financial security? Which not?
I bet your list looks much like everyone else’s:
Easy street: lawyer, business, doctor, etc.
A tougher go: artist, social work, teacher, etc.
I’m going to start right here and tell you you’re wrong. (Aren’t I nice?)
Did you ever have a dream you shared with someone and they told you that you’d be better off doing ____? Why did they tell you to not follow your dream? Well, they’re wrong too.
It’s not about what you can do, what other people think you should do, but rather about your passion. If you are passionate about what you’re doing, you’ll do it well, and so well, you maybe actually could make a living doing it.
Life is about challenges and taking risks. When you’re young, you feel invincible. You’re full of passion for changing the world by following your dream.
Then someone gets in your head.
“You won’t make money by doing dream.”
“Dream is just a hobby.”
Make up your mind and prepare for that dream. Change your major and change career, and don’t deny your true passion.
Nobody likes pictures of themselves. While I’m sure there is some science behind that, a good professional headshot is crucial. Recently I was asked for a headshot. My current headshot was no longer current. My hair longer, and honestly, I have a few more wrinkles! 😉 So I hit up my ever-talented husband, Chris, for some help.
For my background, I chose the Busch Student Center. I love the activity of the BSC! There students and staff are constantly milling about and talking together. I love witnessing the people of SLU coming together to fulfill the mission of the institution.
Even if I’m not a fan of pics of myself, I’m pleased with the resulting picture:
After I uploaded my headshot, I looked to see who else had uploaded theirs for the conference. I saw some great pictures, and one snapshot. Yikes! This person was the keynote speaker and had uploaded a picture of himself at a restaurant with low-lighting and holding a beer to boot! While I do partake in adult beverages myself from time-to-time, they have no place in headshots or profile pictures.
For professional headshot, go the extra mile and make it even more polished by following these tips:
Keep it evergreen
Many of us have lovely campuses, but avoid taking shots outside. Your picture will always look distinctly spring/summer/fall/winter.
Make it interesting
Don’t just stand in front of a blank wall, but stand somewhere meaningful to you. Are you always in the student center? Or maybe you love the library? Make your scene somewhere that makes you feel happy, but also be sure your photographer has you in focus and not too much of the surrounding area. A good photographer will be able to do this.
Light on the makeup
People want to see the you they would see everyday at work. Making hair and makeup too intense will make you resemble those Glamour Shots from the 90s.
Go classic
Keep jewelry classic. What do I mean? Don’t go with a statement necklace or fashion earrings, but maybe some simple studs or pearls. This way you won’t look at the photo a year from now and say, “What was I thinking?!”
Wear what you love
Choose clothing that you feel good in and look good in. Wear clothes that fit you well. It will show in the picture and your energy in the photo.
Add movement
Speaking of energy, don’t freeze in an unnatural pose. Smile naturally by putting your tongue behind your teeth. Take a breath in as the photographer goes to snap the pic. The photographer can help with your body to make you look more natural.
Say no to snapshots
Bringing this back around, do not try to use a snapshot or crop someone out of the picture to make it usable. The failure here is it doesn’t look composed or professional.
On downloading a profile picture
Do not download a picture from another profile. Always keep your headshot in a folder on your computer where you can find it. Downloading a headshot or picture from another website runs the risk of looking grainy. This is because the picture might have been compressed. When displaying it larger than say, the thumbnail it came from, would cause the computer to fill in the missing information (pixels) on the picture and appear grainy.
Do you have more tips? Let me know! Are you proud of your professional headshot? Do share! Has this post helped you come to the conclusion you might need a new headshot? Great. I’m sure you’ll look amazing. Help others look great too and share this post with them!
Reading for pleasure is a cherished pastime for the Ph.D. student, so I have taken to consuming short works and collections of essays. These I can read in the coveted hour I might find each week or easily pick back up if my read is interrupted.
My latest book I read was We Should All Be Feminists. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes from her experiences in Nigeria as a woman in a culture that does not view women as capable or equal to men. Her insight into typical social situations in which sexism rears its ugly head provides affirmation for those who might be feeling the same frustrations as well as awareness for those who might not yet see the inequalities in such interactions.
The author calls to all people regardless of gender to be feminists as feminism is not just for the rights of one gender, but rather equal rights. She also points out why human rights is not a appropriate term for feminism.
Beyond being a strong supporter of equal rights, she is a brilliant writer. Check out her other works as well, which very likely might be at your local library.
I used to subscribe to Women’s Health and really enjoyed the magazine. There were sections for health, fitness updates, and new gadgets for those of us who are workout nuts.
Over the years, the magazine went through some changes, but the most significant shift happened about 3 years ago. All of a sudden, the pages were filled with more celeb gossip, dating advice, and fashion and makeup tips. I canceled my subscription. If I wanted that stuff, I’d subscribe to Cosmo (Cosmopolitan).*
But I don’t.
I want information about staying healthy.
At least the Women’s Health’s website stayed decent with articles about new workouts and videos showing exercises with step-by-step demonstrations.
This brings me to last night. I was wanting to find some new exercise inspiration. I like to mix it up a bit so my body doesn’t get complacent and so I don’t get bored. Makes sense, right? So I go to Women’s Health’s website.
Oh. My. God.
My intended short visit to the site to find some new exercises to take to the gym in the morning turned into a diatribe.
What had they done? Where was the fitness? Was it not important enough to make the top nav?
Oh, it gets better. The editors decided that women’s health includes such topics as:
Then you get a pop up:
Is that all it’s about? A bikini body. Orly?
Ok, so what about the boys? Seriously? Seriously.
Now, what did Rodale decide Men’s Health’s site should have?
I thought you’d never ask. On the main page, was there celeb info? New hair products? Ads asking if they wanted a bikini body?
Nope.
None of the above.
How unfortunate that a perfectly good health related periodical for women was bastardized by mainstream media and pop culture. I hope it circles back to cover fitness, women’s issues, and girl power that it once promoted. Now it just serves to join all the other fluff mags that perpetuate the female stereotype.
*It should be noted that Michele Promaulayko took over as editor-in-chief in 2008. Previously, she was executive editor for Cosmopolitan.
I am a nice person, perky and upbeat, and have a wonderful work ethic. I’ll always lend a hand and genuinely ask my co-workers how they are doing. I don’t gossip. I love hearing about their research. I even lend a confidential ear to problems they’re facing.
Still, I get sniped. Now I am not talking about to the death, but the little jabs or swipes that just wear you down. Make you second guess yourself. Micro aggressions that maybe even ruin your day.
What is with the abrasiveness some women harbor toward other women? I know on some level the behavior takes us back to our cave-dwelling alter egos. But now we drive cars and sip lattes.
This judgement doesn’t just apply to women in the workplace. It happens everywhere! Anyone ever be mommy-judged?
Yeah. It’s brutal.
Now how about this? Ever been at work plugging along doing well and suddenly you’re white knighted. Sadly, this happens to the best of us. White knighting can be helpful sometimes when men stand up for women who are being wrongfully attacked or addressed (wolf-whistles, anyone?).
Sometimes though, white knighting can be quite a downer. Take this for an example:
You and your other committee members are having a meeting. One of the male members tells other [female] members he has reached out to a particular leader about the topic and cleared the way for the [women] to progress. He has essentially done the jobs for the members…without being asked. He then suggests the [women] members get experience doing certain tasks as it is easy and they will have to do it eventually.
How about this one?
You are an educated person with 10+ years experience in your field, and you receive a lengthy email from the white knight about how you can improve your resume and prospects by being involved in various areas. He has already reached out to those area leaders to make a connection for you.
Traditionally women have been raised to be seen and not heard, and certainly to not “rock the boat” especially with men.
So, what can you do about all of the above? Lots! Here are a few of my favorites:
Stand up for yourself
Now, I’m not going to lie. This one can take practice. No, you don’t want to come across as crass or abrasive, but being assertive is good. Speak up and say, “It really makes me feel X when people do X. I hope you can see what I mean.” If this behavior still continues, take it further: “I feel X when you do X. We are each in control of our behavior and reactions, and I think as your Y you would like me to be honest with you so we can have a better Z relationship.”
Make it a party
Have others who experience the same behavior from the same person? Get them in on the party! Be open with them, using some of the statements above. Tell them how this behavior makes you feel and saying how you cant imagine it makes them feel good either. Some women are still stuck in the cycle of societal norms for women and won’t speak up. By getting them to see the light, likely they won’t accept the behavior anymore either.
Speak with authority
Cut out the language from your vocabulary that is tentative. No maybes. No I thinks. No perhaps. You will be surprised at the difference.
Bodies matter
No, not your pants size! I’m talking about how you place your body. Body language has a lot to do with perceptions. Be small and you’ll be viewed as small. Lean into someone’s space, you’ll be seen as more authoritative. Check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on it.
Give credit where credit is due
Ready for another surprise? You will look more competent and intelligent when you support other’s ideas and acknowledge their contribution to a project.
Don’t ignore it
Please do not let silence be your agreement. Sometimes the offender assumes everyone is in agreement or everything is just fine when no one says otherwise.
Be yourself
Only you know what is right and feels good to you. Do not let someone’s perceived power affect you as a person. Do not allow them to diminish you.
Monday night I was assisting in the intervention skills class. This course is aimed at preparing student affairs professionals to support students should they have certain concerns or needs. Our topics this semester range from depression to Autism to identity.
This week’s topic was sexual assault. This is never an easy subject for anyone. With 1 in 4 college women being sexually assaulted, we need to break the silence.
Claudia Charles, Director of Counseling and Wellness at Fontbonne University, spoke to the class about sexual assault and supporting students who may have experienced such an event. She spoke about counseling students who were assaulters and how being present with the student is helpful in keeping biases in check. She also went over general information, including statistics, sexual assault facts, and emotions victims may be experiencing.
There is so much grey in the experience of sexual assault. No, not every victim will say rape even though it was rape. No, not every victim will fight their assaulter. No, not every victim will want to speak out. No, not every victim will come to the acceptance of their sexual assault.
This brings the conversation back to the thought that we need to support those who do come forward about sexual assault. We need to encourage them to seek counseling and hopefully they will report the crime to the police. We need to strongly encourage victims to seek medical attention for their assault. This is integral in ensuring they are physically ok and collecting any possible evidence should the victim wish to prosecute in the future.
One question I had, as I have never had the experience of accompanying anyone to the emergency room for sexual assault, is what does this experience look like for a person?
Would in the case of people on their parents’ insurance plan result in an explanation of benefits (EOB) mailed home? This could be an issue in instances where the person does not wish to have parents notified. Victims can process the emergency room visit without using insurance, and the visit might be able to be covered by a victim’s grant.
I marvel at how some find the courage to relive their assault in order to seek medical attention, counseling, or to prosecute the assaulter. They are strong and I am proud of those people. Be proud of those people too. Show your support by speaking up about sexual assault. You could be the push someone needs to break the silence.
Last night I happened upon this gem in my site stats:
Well. Hmmm. Sadly for the searcher, not on this site. But what does this say about the youth and how they’re using this great vast medium of the Internet.
Let’s take email for instance. No one ever has said this is the right way or the wrong way to use email. Some people are deleters. Some archivers. Some a mix of the 2. Others keep their inbox full. Then there is the communication protocol. Is it like a text? Better than a call? Formatted like a formal letter? A personal letter? We are all using technology in varied and increasingly creative ways.
The Internet is full of gems for us all. It’s a metaphorical horn of plenty. It might just be the great education and access equalizer in our educationally disjointed society. How wonderful to have this tool for educators and learners and the curious to use!
While I’m not sure this young person was fruitful in their search for nude girls from Mii Plaza, watching and learning about how people are using the media is not only fascinating, but very educational. It teaches us multitudes about society, thought processes, curiosity, creativity, and where we are headed ethnographically.
Next time you get the chance, ask someone how they use technology. You might learn some new ways to leverage the media. You might even learn something cool about how people are venturing into the great wide open.
This afternoon on the way in I was listening to St. Louis Public Radio, St. Louis’ local NPR station. There was a live broadcast titled “Early Childhood and Media”in concordance with Media Literacy Week. The conversation was wonderful about how we can teach children about this world.
I enjoyed the whole discussion, well, the twenty minutes I caught, which happened to be the final twenty minutes of the piece. I cannot wait for the whole to be posted online.
I liked where Dafna Lemish pointed out about behavior and the Internet. Online interactions are just as real as in person interactions – if you wouldn’t say that to someone in person, you shouldn’t say it online – and how online interactions have emotional and social impact. I also like how she noted augmented reality could be used to teach empathy as well (putting someone in someone else’s shoes), but often the only recollection is regarding first person shooters when people think of augmented reality.
The other major point I enjoyed came from Deborah (or perhaps Debra) in Jennings. She brought up the topic of media impacting our emotions and attitudes towards others, and is often overwhelmed with such toxic levels of negativity.
I absolutely loved this talking point!
There is already so much negative and unfortunate in the real world. We do not need producers fabricating reality shows and scenarios to poison the media many of us use to unwind after a stressful day.
So much more can be done with these powerful tools. Why not instead, producers, choose to educate, inform, entertain with positive methods? Train wrecks are low hanging fruit. You’ll always get gawkers. Challenge yourselves and create something positive and engaging.
For me, I love reality television shows that are upbeat. I do not watch the shows where there is backstabbing, betrayal, and hatred. I cannot recall which of the gents said it on the show, but, yes, it is soul crushing. There is just too much of that in the real world. Why fabricate more negativity for us to consume?
The story is horrifying. The military discharges their faithful soldiers who have fought in some of the toughest situations and as a result are suffering. To just go see a counselor or psychologist in this country is a great accomplishment. The stigma associated with receiving mental health services is tragic and likely prevents thousands of people from seeking mental health services each year.
When is the VA going to be held accountable for the proper treatment of soldiers and veterans?
From personal experiences with people in my life, the VA psychologists are not there to help soldiers and veterans get treatment. They are there as a backstop; a barrier built between those who fought for freedom and their own personal freedom. The psychologists often minimize experiences, feelings, and seriousness of the mental health crisis.
The VA will offer individuals seeking mental health services the opportunity to participate in a support group where participants are encouraged to regale the room with their war stories. Soldiers and veterans experience enough of their own war stories in their waking life and in their nightmares. Why would you ever want to send someone back to a war zone? Rehashing the events of a war does not suddenly make it make sense. War is stressful, tragic, and often very graphic.
These men and women need to receive treatment fit for someone who put their life on the line for others. Help them move forward from what has occurred.
A couple weeks ago Chris and I went on a drive in our new car. The kids were with Grandma and we just enjoyed the journey. During our drive we discussed many things, including an upcoming project of mine that will make me more visible online.
Chris argued that by putting myself out there in any way and by simply being a woman, I am opening myself up to the unfortunate side of the Internet. He hates this side of the Internet, totally thinks I shouldn’t let this stop me, but just wanted to warn me. I told him I wasn’t worried because my focus isn’t anything, even seemingly, controversial. He replied, “It doesn’t matter. They don’t care. It’s just because you’re a woman. And smart. They hate that.”
I don’t get why people feel justified in harassing other people, on or off the Internet. It just doesn’t make sense.
Well, he’s right.
By just having thoughts in my head, I’m controversial.
This underlying and sometimes blatant hatred of women just because they’re women and smart is…well, I just cannot put it into words. I honestly cannot comprehend any possible reason for such a stupid perspective. Why would someone hate anyone for being smart? Having opinions? Or even just existing?
John Oliver breaks down the reality for women on the Internet with a little bit of humor.
For god’s sake, you’d think the way the people are lashing out at these women, they were axe murderers or even Hitler himself.
What happens online doesn’t stay online. This harassment affects our every day lives. By continuing to dismiss and accept these crimes against women, the oppressive power will persist on the Internet just as it has in society for thousands of years.
