Jackie Koerner

Expectations of Me

The topic of women has always been rather interesting to me and been at the front of my brain recently with topics such as sexual assault on college campuses, Gamer Gate, and harassment of women in tech frequently flickering across the media.

There are certain issues women run into more than our male counterparts while being us. Women often juggle and are judged. Our male counterparts who juggle are commended. What a terrible disservice to both genders.

Women are often told to “lean in” – I implore you. Tell me to “lean in”.

Try it.

This disgusts me how frequently I hear women telling other women to “lean in” or saying that they “leaned in”.

Women are not children’s punching bags. We don’t lean one way and remove ourselves from another direction of our lives. We are also not gyroscopes tilting involuntarily with the birth of a child, pursuit of a new career, illness, going back to school, etc. We grow in knowledge, interests and depth.

I am frequently baffled by the interpretations of others (women, men, media) of what women should do, be, are doing, etc. I was listening to TLDR this morning, catching up on some of my podcasts, and listened to “Episode 45”. I then listened to “Episode 46”. Please listen to these. Also see Quiet, Ladies. @wadhwa is speaking now for more explanation.

Most fascinating is the hack that finds fame in riding on the coattails of women.

The How

“How do [they] do it all?” A quote from a conversation in the graduate assistant office referring to Ph.D. students who have families, volunteer responsibilities, etc.

Simple. You do what is important, you prioritize, and you are efficient.

Challenging the -isms

The -isms are never easy to talk about. They can be hurtful and embody so much history. Recently with the Ferguson event exposing continued racism in the region, St. Louis County issuing marriage licenses to all individuals, and attacks on women and feminism in various forms, Chris and I wanted to be sure to provide Kari with as much information as possible – and on an 8 year-old appropriate scale regarding feminism, heterosexism, and racism.

Over the past few months, feminism has been firmly on my mind with Senator McCaskill’s investigation into campus sexual assault (and frankly, every one could guess campuses were not honestly reporting incidents) and Gamergate.

More applicable to Kari right now is the topic of Gamergate. She loves video games, and has since a young age. She is certainly not going to ever give up games. She also loved going to PAX in 2013.

Will this change to more inclusive gaming continue, or will there be a divide? Is there a place for women in tech that will not have to be hard fought and never truly won?

Let’s start with a quote from Anita Sarkeesian:

One of the most radical things you can do is to actually believe women when they talk about their experiences.

Why is it when women report assault or harassment the first thought is skepticism?

Threats to women in tech are not new. Take the 2007 discussion prompted by the threats to Kathy Sierra. She is not the first and will not be the last woman to take a hiatus from the Internet and popular culture due to harassment and death threats. Why is this behavior ok? It’s not, but it is accepted. Why?

Going back to Gamergate, this disagreement about what gamers should be erupted into a division between those for women’s rights and those against. After nearly a month of heated debate, right after Kori was born in September, Chris stopped talking to his good friend of 15 years. This hurt him terribly. No, not because of the loss so much, but because something so integral to him was ignored. Feminism is such an important part of who my husband is to disavow that part of him is to overlook so much of what makes him amazing. It’s part of his identity. Being married to such a strong, smart woman (uh-hum) and raising 2 daughters, women’s rights are very important to him. However, women’s rights would be equally as important to him if he were raising 2 sons as he would want to make sure they were just in the world.

On a sidenote: I am so proud he was on the list of users Gamergaters Twitter blacklisted. He’s just too equality and social justice for them. I think he’s rather proud of that too.

So many people in the industry are just like Chris. They are standing up for equal rights and uniting against the harassment of women. But there are the others too. There is no reason why anyone should be permitted to threaten another person or diminish their person.

This morning I made the comment that I am glad we are not going to PAX in the next couple years. Chris said he would love to go and challenge the issues. I guess I just think that part of my world is sacred. Video games are my immersive experience and I don’t want the neckbeards to pervade that too.

Interestingly enough, still many people do not think the issues of feminism are valid. Some comment that feminism was created by ugly, angry women and that women should enjoy sexually-charged attention. That particular individual was commenting on the video below.

Unfortunately, the “hello” in this video was not simply a chipper greeting. This is a challenge many women face on the daily: unsolicited sexual advances. Respond, you’re into them. Don’t respond, and you’re a bitch.

My favorite encounter to date (2003):
Guy: Girl, you got kids?
J: No.
Guy: You want some?
J: Not with you.
Guy: Damn, girl. Ain’t nobody gonna marry your bitch ass.

Where was this conversation? Frankly, it doesn’t matter. Another argument many have tried is that women are inviting these advances because of where they go, what they wear, or by not doing more to stop the advances – see comments here (I know, don’t ever read the comments, but what do I do? I read the comments.)

Women should not have to be mindful of their attire, career choice, opinions, etc. to avoid sexual harassment, death threats or other exploitation. Women should receive support and action when situations like these are reported.

I want my girls to feel more like a Samus than a Peach and be embraced by the world for being so.

I’ll leave you with Computer Engineer Barbie, which still has Kari laughing.

K: Hey mom, I still remember that story about that Barbie who needed help doing tech things.
J: Yeah?
K: It was pretty dumb. The guys needing to help her. (she laughs)
J: Yeah, you don’t need anyone to write your code for you, do you?
K: Nope.

Telecom’s Pals

We all know how much contributions to politicians speak to their interests. I am sad to see someone I support on this list. I hope some do, however, support what is truly best for the people.

Telcom’s Contributions to Politicians

Freshwater Fail

Now I always knew there was a reason why I avoided freshwater…

Scientists Discover a Virus that Makes Humans Stupid

Internet for All

The term net neutrality has been bouncing around for the past few years. While I’m sure many know what it is and the true impact of this on society, I’m also sure many get glassy-eyed when they hear the discussions. This is something that will affect us all. We should all pay attention for the hope of our society.

Perhaps I am being a bit bold when I say “hope for our society.” I think I’m spot on. We do not know yet the impact of the Internet on us as a people. We can clearly see that it has changed us, and I’d argue for the better.

Internet access is something most individuals have either in their home or at least in their community. Net neutrality levels the playing field by providing nearly limitless access to educational resources (MOOCs anyone?), professional connections and collaborations (how many of us got to collaborate and communicate with people around the world instantly before the Internet?), and so much more!

Net neutrality is important to our current success as a society. Not only do people pay bills online, shop for new clothes, but we do amazing things together. We collaborate. We communicate. We educate. We are empowered and all through this interconnected web.

President Obama spoke today about his thoughts on net neutrality. I do hope the FCC takes some of the hints so we can keep moving forward with such powerful intentions.

Read and Watch more:

Gizmodo

NPR on All Tech Considered

Thirty-Two

Funny enough, today I found my unpublished draft of Thirty-One. Today it’s 3 days past my thirty-second birthday.

Even more than usual, my wish came true. This last year was a good one. Not only did I do well in school, but I got to present on my research at ACPA. Kari received slightly more support in school and is doing slightly better – the gifted battle is ongoing but there is hope. And, most exciting to us all, we added Kori to our family!

While specifically I do hope next May brings my graduation, I just hope the next year is another good one!

Boomerangs

I have worked in higher education now for 10 years. I have been a student in higher education for fifteen years. While the boomerang “phenomenon” seems to be a new thing, I really don’t think it is. There were loads of Generation Xers who crashed in their old room or took over their parents’ basements after college. What is new though is the consistent message of “failure to launch” that accompanies boomerang situations.

A couple days ago Chris sent me this article. I’ll wait while you open it (at least look at the pictures, as this is important).

Both Chris and I immediately went on a texting tirade about the pictures. These pictures failed to portray people worthwhile of a job interview, a good incidental conversation, or even a second look on the street, but degraded them. This degradation of the people in the pictures further harms their perceived worth in society.

Another important note…
The education and career aspirations fail to match. Perhaps instead of a photoessay about how these people reside in their lair of depression and desperation, give them some career counseling or suggest graduate programs. Unfortunately, many careers now require graduate degrees (i.e., the librarian, the professor) and then some people received degrees not matching their career aspirations (i.e., the social worker, the veterinarian). In order to work in certain jobs, people need to appreciate the required preparation.

The People of the Internet are taking all your time

Something many of us have dealt with is distraction with electronic devices. This growing phenomenon sprouted with the advent of high-speed Internet, got worse with the smart phone, quickly slid further with tablets and Wi-Fi wherever you go!

With this great technology comes great responsibility, and great cost. We’re always connected, but with whom? Those “People of the Internet” as I call them in my house, or people on Facebook, Twitter, etc. who are on your device, but not present regularly in your physical life, what lasting enjoyment are they giving you?

I find it interesting to see people in stores walking next to each other, but on their phones, or people in cars and all the passengers are on their phones (sadly, even some drivers). Or the best, dinner out with friends, where dinner is somehow social with the people present, yet the diners are present only with the People of the Internet. This activity has gotten so prevalent it has spawned a Phone Stack game – all phones are stacked on the table and whoever cannot resist picks up the tab. My question: what are we missing? Do the People of the Internet care farther than fleetingly if you comment on their blog, read their article or like their status?

To me, it’s interesting what an alternate reality the Internet, smart phones and tablets play in our culture today. It can quickly turn into a time suck. I remember when my family first got the Internet at home when I was fourteen. I found myself addicted to it and quickly decided that wasn’t a way to spend my time. I interacted with people online, sure, but what real, tangible benefit did those conversations give me in my real life?

My husband pointed out my last statement made it sound like I was trashing all of the interaction on the Internet, which is not what I meant here, so here is my edit: Much can be learned from the Internet, but I would like to wager many of us are not engaged on the Internet to that degree during much of our time spent on the Internet. Here is a favorite Clay Shirky quote of mine to illustrate such:

This linking together in turn lets us tap our cognitive surplus, the trillion hours a year of free time the educated population of the planet has to spend doing things they care about. In the 20th century, the bulk of that time was spent watching television, but our cognitive surplus is so enormous that diverting even a tiny fraction of time from consumption to participation can create enormous positive effects.

We are capable of so much more than we are doing – imbibe what makes you stronger and create and collaborate with others. The Internet has made such activities immeasurably easier to do, yet, it also brought time sucks like Facebook, some strands of Reddit, etc. to which I was above referring by my statement in question.

I would rather be present in the lives of those physically around me so as to not miss those all too fleeting moments that make up life. When with friends and family, I want to make them feel valued by me. I want to always feel connected to my husband in our time at home together. Now that I have Kari, it is even more imperative to make sure she feels appreciated, important and loved.

I am so glad I have been present for moments like these: