We have all heard it. Some may even slip into it accidentally. We may not recognize it.
Victim blaming.
Victim blaming can happen with any sort of crime.
Robbery
“Oh, they shouldn’t leave their curtains open because people can see right in!”
Mugging
“They shouldn’t have been out so late at night.”
Sexual harassment
“Well, she shouldn’t wear such revealing clothing.”
Racism
“What did they expect driving through a predominately white neighborhood!?”
Sexual assault
“She was asking for it.”
“She made me want her.”
“She said ‘yes’ once before.”
“She sent me the wrong message.”
“She shouldn’t have gotten drunk.”
“I couldn’t help it. She has a hot body.”
“She’s the one who decided to break up with me.”
“If she didn’t want to be raped, she shouldn’t have worn that.”
The list for sexual assault victim blaming, just like in the crimes above, goes on and on. The difference with racism and sexual assault are those are crimes against a person. A violation of their human rights. Racism and sexual assault are NEVER the victim’s fault. For this piece, I’m going to focus on sexual assault considering the recent events in the Stanford rapist case.
Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault.
Maybe someone can tell this to the Stanford rapist and his father. Brock Turner was sentenced to merely 6 months in county jail for violently raping a woman while unconscious (please read her powerful letter addressing the court and Brock) after dragging her behind a dumpster and manipulating her clothes so he could access her breasts and genitals. The maximum was 14 years and prosecution only asked for 6 years.
Dan Turner, father of convicted rapist Brock Turner, wrote some interesting pieces in his letter to the court of Brock’s sentencing: “That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action…” He’s 20 years-old and you have failed to teach your son how to respect other humans. I don’t care about how much weight he’s lost. I could give a crap less about his Olympic potential. He. Raped. Another. Person. He made his choice that night in January and now he has to suffer the consequences, which are all too light. But by far, my favorite quote is: “Brock can do so many positive things as a contributor to society and is totally committed to educating other college age students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity.”
Yes. Alcohol and sexual promiscuity made him do it.
First, alcohol. So there were how many other drunk people at that frat party and how many of them raped other people? How many people get sloshed at bars across every American city each day of the week and how many rapes are caused by that daily consumption of alcohol?
Now, sexual promiscuity. We talked about this above. Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. Not ever. But damn that woman for wearing a beige cardigan and a dress! How sexually promiscuous! BEIGE! I have never seen anything hotter than a beige cardigan. Even had she been naked, she should not have been raped or even touched.
He chose her because she was drunk. He sought her out because she was the wounded giselle separated from the herd. And this predator only gets 6 months in jail so he can go tell women at colleges across America how to not turn on men so they don’t get raped.
Read more…
Oklahoma police officer explains how to avoid sexual assault