racism – Jackie Koerner

Stop “whiting-out” racism

Wednesday I was listening to a discussion about white privilege. When presenters would bring up situations where they hurt suomeonewit racist actions or remarks, they called the situations “mistakes.”

The conversation did not make me feel uncomfortable in the way it should have to provoke my development, but the continued use of the word “mistakes” and discussion of “whiteness” as it affects white people made me very uncomfortable. (Note: the whiteness of white people affects all people who are not white. That’s who best understands whiteness. We white people are products of our white privilege but do not get to “woe is me and my ignorant state of whiteness”). This proves we white people have to learn how to respond and properly classify situations when we allow our privilege to interfere with our civilized behavior.

When you are racist, you hurt someone. You perpetuate by example what you did, which is racism.

Let’s pause here. Note I said, “When you are racist…” This does not mean you have to have ill-intent or identify as a racist to be racist. You could be completely ignorant of the situation or how your actions are racist, but this does not give you a pass.

When you are called out on your racism, do not be defensive. Take a breath. This person is telling you how you were hurtful to them or someone else. They don’t want an apology, but a simple, “I am sorry for (racist behavior) and should be a better example” is a good start. It is a good start. You need to work with the individual(s) you hurt to repair that relationship.

If you are called out in a group setting, own up to your behavior, ask the person if you could talk further after the session, and move on. Maybe you did not mean to be hurtful, but you need to know how to avoid being hurtful to people in the future.

These are not “mistakes” they are situations in which you hurt another human being by insulting their identity. Call them for what they are, stop calling them “mistakes,” and understand what to do when you are called out.

My friends are scared

This is wrong. My friends are scared. They fear for their safety. They worry about raising kids in this world. Their kids are terrified they won’t come home each night.

Who do they call if they need help? They have no one. Worse than that, they are the hunted.

In this crazy, upside-down world, victims are turned into the villains. Children are growing up without dads, moms, aunts, brothers, sisters, uncles, cousins. Because of hate. Hundreds of years of falsely reaffirmed hate.

I have not stopped crying about the deaths of black people this week. It can’t be real. Why hasn’t this stopped already? Why can’t I wake up? But this isn’t about me. And it’s real.

It’s about my friends who are scared. Those who I do not know who are scared. My beautiful friends. The beautiful people I do not know. Who loves them? Who protects them?

Do something. Racism exists. It isn’t over. Read the comments on articles and you’ll see it. Look around and you’ll see it. Listen to your black friends and you’ll hear the scars left by racism.

We all need to make a change. Be the change and be the good.

What are you willing to give up?

We’re fickle. Something catches our attention and our attention is fleeting. The important issues we need to keep alive. For me, those are gun violence and equality.

I was listening to the newest Macklemore and Ryan Lewis album this weekend. A couple weeks ago I heard Macklemore on NPR discussing his collaboration with Jamila Woods, “White Privilege II.”

About a year ago now I watched our favorite young tribute, and fiercely smart young woman, Amandla Stenberg speak about how white people appropriate whatever they want from black culture, and usually with no appreciation for the black people and their experiences in their everyday lives.

How many white people do you see actually doing something about this inequality? Just tweeting about it doesn’t count. It’s good, but you can’t just tweet and change the world.

I really relate to the Macklemore and Jamila Woods song. I worry that being white that I wouldn’t be welcome protesting or speaking out. I don’t know all of the discrimination black people face, but I know some. And what I hear about is bullshit. No, it’s not the responsibility of the black people to educate us white people about it. But some of this stuff I hear is so unbelievable that some other person would do to another person – my mind just doesn’t go there. I just cannot image a person hating another person so much. But it happens.

Read about Structural Inequality.

I keep hearing the question, “What are we willing to give up for equality?” ‘Giving up’ is a funny phrase to use here. I don’t think of equality like this. I’d be gaining colleagues, friends, neighbors, students. I’d lose seeing suffering. I’d lose the sadness I feel for people being treated unfairly. I’d lose what I feel because I know just being born black means a whole other set of hurdles to mount. You think separate but equal went away with Brown v. Board of Education? We are still separate. We never were equal. And just because of what?

Stupidity. Ignorance. Silence.

A bystander is just as guilty as the perpetrator. If you don’t believe in inequality, don’t let inequality happen. Stand up for your friend. Stand up for your neighbor. Stand up for your fellow human.

Critical Thinking from NPR

Note: Although these stories were on NPR on Friday, this post was a process over a few days due to one evil sinus infection. 🙂

The first news item that struck me was about a Spanish Lake documentary. A former resident was making a documentary about Spanish Lake. The main focus was about race and why St. Louis remains so divided. Here is a KETC piece on Spanish Lake from a few years ago.

Last month even I saw a BBC Story about St. Louis Divided. BBC. The BBC is writing about our small city and our racial division. We’ve made the news, folks, but not in a good way.

Spending much of my life in St. Louis, the division is evident. The inequality is there. I have had close family friends of non-white heritage harassed for driving through upper-class neighborhoods. It’s heartbreaking and embarrassing.

How in St. Louis are we going to get beyond this stigma? It’s not this or that race moving into the neighborhood. There are people who do crime in all races.

Let’s focus on crime. What motivates crime? Is this person angry, greedy, or maybe just hungry? Needs to pay the rent? We need to look further into what motivates individuals to do crime; was this crime just because or maybe because of family needs. Crime might be more prevalent in one particular race because the majority works hard to put them there. We work hard at our prejudice in St. Louis to be sure fewer African Americans and other minority races have fewer good paying jobs. Fewer housing opportunities. Less educational opportunities because there are fewer tax dollars to pay to schools, parents are always working and not able to focus on homework help, students might have to eventually work too shifting focus away from school. Etc. Etc.

This is a cycle. If we keep doing what we’re doing or do nothing, this will continue. It might get worse, but certainly it will not get better.

Second item to catch my attention was about bullying and even a new documentary about bullying. The one way other students can combat bullying is to not give the bully an audience and even advocate for the student being bullied. It is difficult to be the one to speak out, but sometimes it can make a huge difference.

I am glad schools are taking bullying more seriously now than they did when I was in school. Many times administrators and teachers would turn the other cheek to me being bullied, physically and verbally, and then I’d get in trouble for standing up to the bullies, physically and verbally, while they got away with it.

I even took up a habit of standing up for other students who were being bullied. The bullies backed off. The students acted like I’d done something amazing. Why shouldn’t we stand up for others?

To me, bullying was dumb. Why not just be friends? Was that so strange of a concept?

My daughter is now in kindergarten and experiencing the first tastes of bullying. Is she the bully? No. The victim? No. She’s the advocate. I am so proud of my outspoken, stubborn little 6 year-old for standing up for those other girls and asking the bully why she says mean things. I was so happy the day she came home from school frustrated because a girl who said “not nice things” to other girls wanted to be Kari’s friend, and Kari just wasn’t comfortable with that on account of her actions. No, not happy because she didn’t know how to navigate the social waters even we struggle with in adulthood, but because she at 6 years-old knew what was right, recognized the wrong, and wanted to stand up for the other person. This is what will change bullying. Teaching advocacy and that it’s ok to say you’re not ok with the behaviors of others.